Monday, September 03, 2007

art is healing

it all started here. on a puddle jumping walk with my favourite 3 year old twins. i turned on my cell phone camera and randomly pointed it at my boot.

and then i fell in love
with the ripples in the puddle
with the way you can capture a moment
with the way i see the world

one of my former partners is a photographer. i had always just left the task to him and took the role of the subject of the photo. i enjoyed taking pictures, but was most definitely not drawn to explore it further. my form of art and connection to the muse had always been with songwriting and singing.

until i met the digital camera. there is something about having the freedom to try as many times as you like that opens the doors to this medium for me. and the more i work at it the less tries i need.

then i got my point and shoot. oh...even deeper love. at the time i was just emerging from a depression. no, i had definitely emerged. but i was at the point where i knew i had worked hard to change behavioural patterns, to make a commitement to make healthier choices, to self care...but i wasn't too sure who i was and how to function in the world without my toxic self-sacrificing behaviour.

so i started taking pictures of the subject i'd spent the last year in a deep study with. i tried to figure out who she was and how i saw the beauty in her. and find it i did.

it wasn't just self portraits, though they were incredibly healing. i started taking it everywhere. capturing the little bits of beauty i saw along the way. and life hasn't been the same since.

recently i bought my dream camera (digital rebel xti) and though i still take my little camera everywhere, the rebel has brought a whole new element to this art. it takes amazing pictures, but it has also brought me back to the roots of this medium that i've chosen (or that has chosen me). i want to know everything about photography, how this works, what does this mean. i ask a lot of questions of photo friends and spend hours on the net almost daily researching something photography related. flickr is also endlessly amusing!

some avenues that have me particularly smitten these days are ttv through vintage cameras and toy cameras like the holga or the fisheye. i've always been a messy sort of artist, loving the imperfection, so the unpredictability and playfulness of these methods have me over the moon.

i'm also feeling super grateful for two friend: miss j and miss z. last february we started getting together on sunday afternoons to make art. sometimes with a specific goal or medium, but often just with our own task at hand (j is a super fabulous zine maker and z makes goregous paintings). i often would just bring a canvas and start playing. beautiful things have arisen from it. we don't meet every sunday. we all are seriously committed to self-care, so some weeks that takes priority. we met yesterday after taking much of the summer off. it was so lovely to be in their company again, have lovely chats and get our hands all covered in paint. i feel so much gratitude for the way being in their company has opened me up to an everyday experience of living creatively.

so today i am so thankful for this growing world of being artful. reading artful blogs, making art daily, taking pictures everywhere i go. it has helped me not only emerge from a difficult time but it is transforming my life and helping me truly engage in it in ways i never imagined.

art is healing. thats one thing i know for sure.

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