how can it get any better than this?

my whole body is buzzing with excitement.
i think i'm in love. with the potential of life.

i knew someday that all the struggle would be worth it. to feel so good again.
to feel alive in every cell of my body.

the music is filling me.
the sun is charging me up.

my cats fur has never felt softer.
their purring is making me purr....

recently a good friend of mine Eliza, who is oh so wise, spoke of how there comes a point when you realize that all the little things mean nothing. and at that point you meet the world with open arms and it welcomes you. sometimes this comes out of struggle or crisis. but those things sometimes let us see the world clearer. for what makes us truly happy and to celebrate connection and living in our joy.

i've just been taking baby steps to work towards being happy again, sensing at each stage what feels like the healthiest choice, even if it doesn't seem at the time that it will help in the big picture, but it does.

today i sat on a patio above east van, eating delicious breakfast and talking with new people. that isn't something i've done in a long time. i walked down commercial drive and fell in love again with the mountains. in portland all the people looked so beautiful and while on the drive i realized it wasn't just portland. just like my last trip, i'm amazed at how much the little learnings i have there are transferable to my life at home. with hilton head it was peacefulness, portland it was the beauty of life. i feel like i'm finally ready to meet life again with open arms.

as my mom would say:
"how can it get any better than this?"

oh, and how it does!