discovering my sensibilities

i woke up on the right side of the bed this morning.

i can't explain it much better than that.  its not that i was more alert in my pre-coffee state or that i'd had any more sleep than usual.  its just that it felt like things just fit into place today.  

i'm still working mega hard today finishing off the images from the photoshoot.  this is my first real experience in processing for a client.   i mean, they are all my friends, but this is a paid gig and i'm learning so much about how to manage a workflow and to select specific images for the client.  

as i mentioned in the last post, it started out rough, but i've found myself in the groove of processing photos, listening to what the image needs (if it needs any change at all!).

it reminds me of when my sister and i worked together as gardeners on the golf course years back.  when it was time to plant we'd put all of the plants in place, then step back and view them.  she liked to call it something to the effect of 'meeting our sensibilities'.  i thought it was a bit ridiculous at first, being so anal about whether a salmon coloured flower should be one inch to the left or right, but the truth of the matter was that it did help develop a bit of an artistic sensibility in me.  did it feel right?  what could we change to make it sit well with us?

my 'sensibilities' are put to use in the post-processing.  i'm not making decisions because of some theoretical idea.  i'm not just letting the auto-fix do it for me.  i'm changing the darkness and light and colour saturation or adding texture until i feel that 'YES' come out of me.  thats what makes this part of the process art i suppose.  its a sort of playfulness with the image, listening to what it needs, sometimes challenging it, drawing something out of it that wasn't there before or just letting it be.  sigh.  i love it.  delicious work.

over at shutter sisters today the post is about the 'small is beautiful' manifesto.  i joined in on this crew the moment i read about it, soon after the lovely Magpie Girl and Jen Lemen started it.  i've never been one to watch how many people visit here (not that even know how to check that!) and i do love when comments are left.  i, as i'm sure with many others, simultaneously love and struggle with blogging.  part of me wants to connect with the amazing circle of artful bloggers and another part of me misses just sitting cross legged with my black covered journal, keeping all these thoughts to myself. 

i think a lot about why i blog.  i feel like it tends to be a mirror of how i am in the real world sometimes.  how much am i showing of my authentic self in a post and in real life?  do they match up?  am i hibernating from both reality and the blog world?  am i reaching out to friends and getting involved with the SPC or at Shutter Sisters?  for me they are often similar in paths. 

i much appreciated Sarah-Ji's post at Shutter Sisters about how the idea of 'small is beautiful' also speaks to being a photographer.  it was an idea that i think i needed to hear!  i get way ahead of myself sometimes in picturing my own success (though i think its healthy to do so....as i've never been so confident about anything in my life! quite the opposite in fact.) but then at times I have bouts of the blues and the 'i'm kidding myself' downer moments.  i don't want to make myself feel like where i am right now is anything less than wonderful and being present in that allows me to be present in why i fell in love in love with this medium in the first place...which is because it helps me to feel present and alive!  i want to succeed and grow, but i want to revel in the place where i am right now and be thankful for what I have learned so far. 

for me, small is beautiful means 

standing in who you are right here, right now

living in the moment and letting your authentic self out

being adults in a way, not trying to be the coolest kid in the class, but just being you.

connecting to people, individuals, through these wonderful artistic mediums

finding what it is you have to give to the world.

as i wrote that last paragraph the cd i'm listening serenaded me with these words.

she said look at the stars in the darkness

can't you feel why we're here?

look a the sun on the water

could the truth be any more clear?

she said don't be afraid to be silent

don't be afraid to be big and loud

don't be afraid to walk softly 

don't be afraid to be proud

she said dance with all your being

cry your most passionate tears

hold your life like the treasure it is

and let it go without fear.

we will bear witness to it all.

it felt like a bit of serendipity to hear these words as i write this post.  they are from the song 'Witness to it All' by the Wyrd Sisters.   And they really embody what it is to be a 'small is beautiful' blog and to be our authentic selves living on this gorgeous earth.

i hope your sunday holds much beauty.