Wednesday, March 25, 2009
the life preserver, the ladder and the boat
feeling really quiet today. tender and raw. far from the girl skipping down sunny streets.
but i'm working my way back to her.
sometimes we get a reminder of how far we've come. though it doesn't feel like it at this moment, i do know that i'm no longer the girl i was, even if other people in my life still treat me like i was her. sometimes i forget how to say 'don't treat me like that' or 'no' but its true that the time between reaction and action gets smaller the more you practice standing up for yourself.
but i touch my cheek like the sweetheart i need to believe in. like the love that i so yearn for and the love that is already here in abundance.
elizabeth gilbert wrote that "i was the administrator of my own rescue". i am that too. but i threw myself overboard for these last few days, forgetting that i am the life preserver, the ladder and the boat. so i'm drying myself off and trying to find the words of this story that needs changing.