counting the sleeps

6 until...
i hand in my thesis
16 until...
my exam is done
32 until...
victoria folk fest
36 until...
graduation
52 until...
folk fest....
98 until...
the big day....

saturn return

i just arrived home from 'couver after one of the most brilliant weekends. every moment of the 48 hours i was there tasted so sweet and i felt so present....just watching goodness unfold in my life. there has been so much change in the last week, so much is manifesting that is directing me forward in my life. i'm ready to move forward. i feel patient, without fear, ready to let myself greet success, with an open heart, with confidence.
i'm so looking forward to 28.
saturn return baby....
here i come.

third eye

I've had a sinus headache for the last two days and i am getting frustrated. i'm popping oil of oregano caps every two hours with no relief so far. when it gets to this point (yes...its only been 48 hours but it makes me pissy none the less) and nothing will work (even the dreaded tylenol) i've gotta look elsewhere for answers.

I'm doing this tree of life chakra process right now, where we spend 3 weeks working on each chakra, meditating and witnessing the manifestations that tend to happen in each chakra. And they have been...this past weekend there were so many things that manifested that have made a complete shift in my future and my self perceptions....changes that are outside of my normal patterns of behaviour and which are going to create drastic wonderful changes in my life...moving forward. I cannot elaborate at this point though...not online. It is still something that needs to remain in my journal and in discussion with my dear friends/family. But I tell ya...good things are goin' on!

Back to the chakra process....we are presently working in the third eye chakra...which likely has something to do with my headache. I often feel physical manifestations of the chakra while I am in it (ie. lower back pain in the sacral, my lungs/chest feeling open or closed in the heart chakra). So....what is blocked? What am I holding in my third eye? What am I unwilling to see? Is it even a block...or a physical reaction to all the release? It isn't a difficulty seeing my future (quite the opposite). This weekend was all about stepping out of old patterns....is this the low after the high? I'm going to spend tonight doing some painting/collage/singin'/writing...whatever manifests....and focus on believing in my ability to manifest my vision.

and if chakraness sounds like a foreign language to you...check out www.sacredcenters.com/chakras.html
for a little clarification.

change in the 'hood

fernwood is changing.
i'm unsure yet if for the better. it looks that way.
potentially good things
-there is a new kilt store, yes, kilts in fernwood, advertising traditional and functional kilts!
-there is supposed to be an ice cream shop opening up....i don't eat ice cream, but the potential is good! perhaps they'll have some gelatto!

lots has changed in the square this year...
-a new taco shoppe (cheap and unbelievably good tacos)
-the bead store opened...its lovely to have a creative energy to the hood
-the crack house across the way got emptied and boarded up and kids painted the boarded up windows with awesome art and grafitti
-there is a beautiful new mural depicting the square beside little fernwood

the other big change is that the thin edge, my favourite americano/pizza place is now under new ownership...i super liked the old owner chris, with his johnny cash/frank sinatra pics and the kinda tough assed attitude of the shop.
i'll deal with the change.
as long as wednesday still remains biker night.
there's nothin' like biking home from work to the street packed with harleys and a bunch of burly guys in leather filling the square.

65 sleeps until....

i'm freaking out...in an overjoyed way. i've been running around the apartment shouting 'YESSSSSSSSSS' for the last five minutes and the cats are getting scared. its almost midnight and i'm soooo excited about something that i don't think many of my friends would appreciate me calling them at midnight to tell them. cause i am obsessed with music. its the truth
AND
my the big excitement is that my absolute most favourite collection of musicians FRUIT is going to play the vancouver folk fest this summer. yes...that is what all the ruckus is about. and it is true i have seen them perform a multitude of times before....but never at folk fest (yes..they did play victoria folk fest a couple years ago but it was still in a bar).

perhaps i should explain how important folk fest is to me. all folk fests. i was brought up going to the summerfolk festival in owen sound....yes, i was that little infant being breastfed by the hippy mama in the shade under a big tree that you see at every fest...my love for music started way back when. every year we did folk fest and when i started off on my own i tried to catch folk fests wherever i could. the falcon ridge folk fest was an adventure i'd take on my birthday each summer...always taking a solo journey down to new york state to hear the likes of ani, karen savoca, kris delmhorst, lori mckenna the nields, greg brown, I must say it is the top of my list...both the brilliant lineups they score and the amazing settings.

but now that i've become a west coast kid, vancouver folk fest has been my mainstay. it is a dizzying weekend of bliss. it is dancing with candra (my 7 year old friend...the best person to dance with ever). it is spending time with alison and kim. it is the dizzying schedule of amazing performers...trying to figure out how i can see everyone...running between each of the 7 stages. it is being barefoot on the grass dancing. and it is that feeling of home that i find there....other than my own family...it is the most intense feeling of community, feeling that i belong.

so...i'm giddy with excitement. i can barely wait....
65 sleeps

open to any page

i open to any page and know exactly what is going on
i know the story that well even though it is not my own
i'm realizing how many books i reread and reread
these include:
the fifth sacred thing by starhawk
valencia by michelle tea
stone butch blues by leslie feinberg
rubyfruit jungle by rita mae brown
written on the body by jeanette winterson
and i confess briget jones: the edge of reason by helen fielding

the function of this immediate understanding of the storyline is
highly beneficial for me due to my extremely quick ability to
fall asleep. you see, i can read about one paragraph to two pages
before i'm out like a light. also note that the speed of my drifting
off to sleep creates a problem in terms of turning out the light.
most often i wake up at about 2 to turn off the light. i usually tell
people...if you see the light on in my little attic, i'm usually home so
just ring the bell...but truth be told i can't promise i'll be awake.
one of my past partners, as he was swooning me, when driving by
my house, if he noticed the light was on, would pop in, turn off the
light, give me a peck on the cheek and head home. purdy sweet.

but yes, i am not destined to be a library regular. it only leads to
more book purchasing. i like my own copies. that also means i'm
going to need to buy more bookshelves. i was talking to my friends
the other day about books being a status symbol. at first i didn't
relate to the concept, as they were talking about it in terms of academics,
the more books you have the more of a smartypants you get to be.
but then looking at my bookshelf, i can clearly confess that to be truth.
perhaps not in academia, but i do have and pride myself on the vast collection
of wicca/pagan books, evergrowing birth book collection and an almost near
complete collection of jeanette winterson and starhawk books. yes,
i too am a bookwhore.

new naked neighbours

i just went out on my porch
and as soon as i sat down
my newest neighbours and all their friends
came bounding out of the house
buck naked
i could hear them as they ran
around the block
and all came bounding home
i like my new neighbours